This Prison Is Making Her Thirsty
by Ryan Porter
Lohan Lockdown--Day 4: Water, water everywhere, so why won't Lindsay drink?
Lindsay Lohan, inspiration to hot messes everywhere, got to visit her ex-girlfriend
Samantha Ronson on Thursday under her special early visiting hours arrangement, but it really wasn't the same. They couldn't even relive the good times by throwing drinks at each other. Lindsay can't even get so much as a sip of water, TMZ reports.
She's resorted to begging the guards at L.A.'s Lynwood Correctional Facility to quench her thirst, but they've already let her keep her hair extensions in, and that's all the special treatment she's going to get. "Just drink the milk from the day before," a guard told her, TMZ reports. Milk? Um, she
asked for water!
On Monday Lindsay will be able to put in an order to get products from the prison store, which include such delicacies as SPAM and Spicy Velveeta Refried Beans. Until then, she will just have to dehydrate like a Raisin Face in the sun. Unless, of course, she breaks down and drinks out of the
SINK THAT'S IN HER CELL. But that just won't do because, as a source tells TMZ, it's "nasty."
After this ordeal, Lindsay will emerge as a symbol of righteous freedom, just like
Nelson Mandela, except instead of becoming president of South Africa, she will be playing porn star
Linda Lovelace in a biopic. She! Shall! Overcome!