No Secret Stamos Hot-Tub Parties
by Ryan Porter
John Stamos claims his extortionists are also liars.
Not since his wallpaper had bunny rabbits on it has Uncle Jessie been so humiliated. Allison Coss, 24, and her crony Scott Edward Sippola, 31, were found guilty in Marquette, Michigan of conspiracy to extort $680,000 from
John Stamos on Thursday. But not before they could tell a whole story involving strippers, cocaine, and
Mel Gibson's soulmate, the hot tub.
After the trial, John wrote a
statement, linked to his Twitter account, about how much he had barfed in his mouth over the whole thing. "I am shocked and perplexed how individuals could fabricate so many false stories in an effort to defend a crime," he wrote. "I agreed to be a witness for a federal criminal prosecution and endured countless false accusations about my behaviour and appropriateness."
The short version of the "false" story is that Allison had met John during Spring Break in Florida when she was 17. She went back to John's room, where they got into his hot tub and he offered to go down on her. She respectfully declined. They were then joined by strippers with cocaine, making for a fairy-tale evening.
Alison and John kept in touch, until she eventually dropped the b-shell that she had photos of John using drugs. The F.B.I. now says there were never any photos, even though John's team had previously said there were photos of John posing with fans. The real story will have to remain between Allison, Scott, and their cellmates. They're facing up to nine years in prison. Let's hope for their sakes it's exactly like the "Telephone" video.
"The allegations made regarding an inappropriate relationship are completely untrue," John also wrote in his statement. "These slanderous allegations to smear my reputation were part of their defense to redirect attention away from the federal crime of extortion. There was no hot tub, no drugs, no nudity and nothing sexual in nature involved in my friendship with this woman." John Stamos: truly Hollywood's last great innocent.
Touched By An Angel 2: Heavenly Hair, you have found your leading man.