Oh, what feelings Ryan O’Neal has sparked within the parenting community! Obviously it isn’t socially acceptable to dislike your own children, but it doesn’t mean no one feels that way at times. Usually when we feel defeated by our children we deal with it internally out of shame and embarrassment. And there are many reasons we might feel this way. Perhaps our children have grown up troubled or abusive. It’s common to wonder what our life would be like had we not had children at all. Perhaps things would have panned out more favourably? We always question aspects of our lives from occupation to our living situation. There is that looming “what if…” and we can’t seem to shake it. But there is a distinct difference between disliking your children and thinking life might be easier without them. 

Ryan O’Neal is a perplexing character. The things he has said about his own family are despicable. The actor has flat-out stated that his kids are either in jail or should be, adding that he hates his oldest son Griffin. In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine the actor claimed he was a “hopeless father” and probably shouldn’t have become one in the first place. He owns up to the fact that his poor parenting probably led his children down a spotty path. Griffin O’Neal has accused his father of giving he and his brother Redmond hard drugs. Redmond, in fact, was once arrested with Ryan for possession of a controlled substance. While we are glad Ryan can see his flaws it doesn’t excuse how he has lashed out at his kids, adults now, in the media. I think everyone was also shocked to hear that not only did he dislike one child but didn’t even recognize daughter Tatum O’Neal because they hadn’t seen each other in so long.  What led their family to become so broken?  Perhaps only they truly know that. 

It’s important to recognize that it’s impossible for humans to get along with everyone. We often explain that to our kids when they come home from school crying about how much they hate so-and-so. And the same is true for our families. Just because we may share the same DNA doesn’t mean there won’t be any clashes. If you feel like your relationship with your kids is strained you can still repair it.  Sit down and talk to them or attend family counselling. And if it’s just a case of feeling held back by family obligations then make an effort to schedule time alone with your spouse.  Time away from your family all together can be helpful too. Schedule a night out with your friends or a day at the spa. Even some alone time will serve you well. All of this will help ease the stress or burden you feel from being a parent. Hopefully you can open up the lines of communication, despite the magnitude of anger or frustration you feel; this can only help your relationship.