Dear Aunt Mab,
"My friend just visited from the UK. I haven't seen her since I had my baby 7 months ago. She has recently lost a lot of weight using a faddy high protein diet. She is feeling very smug about it. I think she looks unwell and pale and her diet seems very unhealthy, almost no vegetables! When she was here she kept looking at celebrity pictures of overweight stars and criticizing them and then subtly tried to make me feel bad about not being stick thin. To be frank I found my friend's comments boring after a while but it surprisingly also made me feel quite bad. I'm a healthy vegetarian but I do allow myself the odd chocolate treat and I haven't been working out recently since I had a lower back injury, I know I'll get active again as soon as the weather gets better and my baby starts walking." 
 
Gita, Toronto 
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Aunt Mab says -

Dear Gita,
 
Talking endlessly about weight is boring! What a shame that your friend decided to focus on your weight rather than your achievement! You had a baby! How fantastic! But maybe her idea of fantastic would be if you spent your time calorie counting and looking in the mirror? What a way to live!  

If we obsess about our weight it conveniently stops us from doing anything useful with our lives. If we choose to obsess about other people’s weight, it is because we are blinded by a superficial view of them and are refusing to see their deeper qualities. It also means that we neglect developing our own deeper qualities too.  

 
I'm going to quote from JK Rowling, because this says it better than I ever could. 

"I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!"


What on Earth would we do with our lives if we weren't obsessed with the way we looked? Maybe we would write wonderful books, make beautiful music, raise our children lovingly, find cures for diseases, end world hunger; maybe we would live productive and useful lives?

Forget your friend's comments. It's all about her issues and you need to take your thoughts away from her negativity and focus on your own healing and your wonderful baby.

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