Dear David,

I, like you, have been noticing the furor over Mel Gibson's divorce and his alleged 'affair' with the mysterious Russian woman named "Oksana". I didn't question it until I started researching it for my reply to you. Surprisingly there is not just one Oksana... there are several Oksanas, all with different surnames who are being linked with him. How confusing! 

One 24 year old has been pretending to have an affair with him and giving sexy interviews to a UK tabloid which has gleefully lapped up her story. It's is highly doubtful whether she has ever even been on the same planet as him judging by her fantasy confessions. Another woman is a happily married pregnant singer who has no ties with him whatsoever; another singer with the same first name has been linked with him too.... Confused yet?  Finally there is the actual Oksana who has been seen in photos with him and she is Timothy Dalton's ex-partner, 38 year old, Oksana Grigorieva, who is signed to Gibson's Aussie record label. (He has a record label?) Are the rumors of an affair just gossip fueled by fame seeking wannabes?
 
Of course 'suggestive' photos of "Gibson embracing his mistress" on a beach have been floating around for a while now, but wait, just how private is that beach, looking at those photos on the web, you'll see it's not a private beach, it's just a plain old 'luvvie actor' hug and there isn't any Sienna Miller style boob clutching, waist clinching or smoochy kissing. Relationships break up because of many reasons. A new person is often a catalyst for a breakup when existing problems are already there. Apparantly Gibson and his wife have been separated for a while. Time to move on. 

I seriously doubt Gibson is going to make a scene about giving his wife a huge settlement. 

Gibson started drinking at 13. In 2002 he said that he had found out he was manic depressive. In a 2007 television interview in the UK he talked humorously about his wild alter ego, Bjorn, a "pillaging Viking" that he would have to sedate by drinking. Unless you have lived with someone with manic depression it's hard to imagine what it is like. 
 
Magnify that with the incredible fame and charm of Mel Gibson and Robyn would have been a lion tamer to have taken on that job for so long. Not just that, but she would have been his friend and no doubt his anchor through some very hard times. They have been married for nearly 30 years. Look around, how many people do you know who have stayed married as long as that? I suspect this isn't going to be the dirt slinging feud that the gossip mags are hoping for.      

I think that the reality is that the Gibson's marriage has come to a natural close for both of them. Let’s hope that they will both find what they need in their next relationships whether that is with other people or with themselves. 

In your case I think you summed it up yourself when you said "Other people seem to want to make it worse than it already is" 

Only you and your wife know the reality. Act according to your conscience and rise above the pettiness of others.