Dear Kevin.
Don't rush the process

You know your own heart. Other people have "The best intentions" but sometimes this can wind you up more than help you. Statements like "Move on" can be grating because that implies you are 'stuck' somehow. Grieving is a very personal process, the time it takes to go through the various stages of grieving are different for everyone.

Get the right sort of help for you, but do get help. Talking about it in the early days with friends and family helps. As time goes on, often bereaved people find that the rest of the world has moved on (that term again!) and they are still feeling bad. Now more than ever it is good to keep talking. Finding a good therapist at this point can be very helpful, as can joining a support group, either physically or online. Joining an online group with others who know how you are feeling has its advantages in that you can talk and get support whenever you need it, even at 4am in the morning.

Crying will happen. It will happen when you aren't expecting it. Let it happen. The more free you feel at being able to express your feelings, the less likely it is that you will feel your emotions getting out of control. So what if you start crying on the train or at work? Don't beat yourself up about it. Tears are a specific way that our bodies release stress hormones. Cry when you need to cry.   

Get help for your children if you have them. Children face their own unique issues when one of their parents dies and they need to find ways to express their emotions. This is even more important if and when the remaining parent starts dating. Keep it out in the open. Talk to their teachers, other caregivers and your friends about supporting them.   

You don't have to have a relationship until you are ready. If others are pressuring you, remind them that it's your business and when the time is right you will find what you need.

http://www.griefsjourney.com/